Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Change Your Perspective and Change Your Life

This past Sunday we spent the day on a Dive Boat. 
My hubby had 2 students who needed to finish their certification before their trip to Tahiti. 
The women was the most kindest and thoughtful woman I have met. 

She was so grateful that Oscar puts so much of his time, patience and passion into his students. 
She had so many wonderful things to say that all I could do was break into tears after our conversation.  There has been some heartbreaking things going on in the lives of some of our family and friends that an overwhelming amount of guilt rushed over me. 

There was a time when I took ALL I had for granted and in that moment my heart broke, not for me but for them.  Their story is not mine to share but I pray daily for God to give them strength to make it through their current struggle. Little do they know how much they inspire me with their courage. 

Two years ago I was in a place in my life where I just thought "This is it? This is my life?" 
Becoming a mom was one of the greatest gifts that could have been given to me but it came at a price that I didn't expect...losing myself...I felt like I had given up everything about me so that I could be a wife and a mom...I left my job, we moved 50 miles away from friends and family so we could make it all work. The dream of being home with my babies as a stay at home mom was turning into a nightmare. As the weeks and months and years passed I no longer recognized the woman staring back at me in the mirror. She was bitter, jealous and the anxiety and stress I felt just to run a simple errand with two little ones in toe would make me sick to my stomach...literally. Days would pass where I would barely say a word to my husband until one day it just felt like it was coming to an end.

The thought of breaking up our little family was the catalyst to my change in lifestyle. 
The "old" Marianna looked to food and alcohol for comfort. I would spend hours surfing on line or watching TV and feeding the very thing that was causing me all my problems and insecurities. 
My husband wasn't the problem, neither were my kids...The REAL person I was angry with was myself...for not fighting for my family sooner.  My husband dealt with the stress by putting his passion into something he loved...Scuba!

I resented him so much for this. He was off having fun and I was home with two kids, it's not that he left me behind....I could have joined him anytime but I CHOSE NOT TO...the reason, the REAL reason was because I did not feel comfortable in my own body and it my own physical capabilities to put myself through the stress and what I was sure to be utter humiliation.

 I realized how badly I was heading down the wrong path...So I evaluated the pros and cons of my current situation and made a plan to fix it...MY FAMILY WAS WORTH ME FIXING! If being 80lbs overweight is what was keeping me from really LIVING then I needed to change my lifestyle and SO I DID!

Here I am 65lbs healthier, fitter and a certified Rescue Diver <<-- that's right, I got the skillz to save a life if need be. Not that I ever want to use those skills if you know what I mean ;)  The sport that I once was jealous of for taking my husband's time, love and money..lol Is now one of my favorite Hobbies and something we get to SHARE TOGETHER.

I always dreamed of having a loving husband, children and just living life so passionately that everything you do is an adventure. I ALMOST let it get away, and I thank God everyday for giving me strength when I needed it, and hope when I would lose it because I would not change my life now for anything in the world.

Stop living a nightmare of poor health, unhealthy relationships and a negative mindset. 
No one will change your life for you except YOU. 
It doesn't happen overnight but it will happen. 
You just have to fight for it and never lose sight of your goal!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Insanity Max:30 Final Results & Update

I was hesitant to post these before and after photos because honestly I am my worst critic!
I finished Max:30 the last week of February and I had all the intentions to do a 30 day update and share some yummy recipes but it was just a crazy and overwhelming month for me. 
My birthday was on the 10th and it marked the one year anniversary of the week that basically changed the course of our family plans.  The high was getting certified as a PiYo Instructor the day before my birthday.    I know it doesn't sound like a big deal to some but for me, someone who just a year before that day was over 200lbs & could barely do a jumping jack to save her life was now looking to be a Fitness Instructor! It was the most amazing experience of my life and the BEST PRE-BIRTHDAY gift I could have given myself.

The next morning I woke up to Birthday kisses and wishes from my Husband, kids, family and friends and agreed to meet my hubby for lunch to celebrate as I kissed him Good Bye for work. The phone call I got a few hours later was not what I expected:

"Honey, don't panic...but they're closing the office and moving the branch. Today is my last day"

Honestly, I can't remember what I told my hubby but I knew in that moment he needed my support more than ever. I had been a stay at home mom for 4 years and with 110% support from my hubby to keep it that way no matter what we had to do. Which made money a BIG issue in our Marriage at times. Not to air our dirty laundry but to keep it real here people...if it wasn't for finding an outlet for my Depression through fitness almost 1.5 year leading up to that moment, I honestly would hate to think what would have been my response to that phone call.

The following morning I got news that my Grandmother passed away.... Like I said, one minute I was on top of the world and the next on my knees praying for strength...
Things turned out just fine, in fact through all this I have to say that the last year has been the most memorable and life changing year for our Family.  Sure February was a little hard to get through but I woke up each morning and counted my blessings.  Things aren't perfect, we face the same struggles, life shattering and heart breaking moments just like everyone else. But through the heartache there really is so much more to be thankful.

Fitness taught me more than what to eat and some snazzy fitness routines. It taught me to break through the MENTAL BARRIERS I was setting in OTHER areas of my life...like my Marriage, Self Confidence, Friendships & Relationships in general...FITNESS helped give me BALANCE and a place to let the frustrations out instead of holding them in or taking them out on the world.

The point of all this was to share how I HONEST TO GOD feel that through Fitness I have found a way to make all things right in the world again...even if it's just for 30 minutes. For those 30 minutes, I run the show, I control everything...and in those 30 minutes I'm on top of the world again.
The real struggle isn't in the actual PROBLEM but rather making the DECISION as to what you're going to do about it? You have to two choices everyday, do nothing or get up and go for it!
So that's exactly what I did! 

I stayed the course and stayed focused. 
 After finishing Max:30 I felt better, I slept better and I was seriously killing it in my workouts. 
My stamina was cray cray and I lost a little over 11lbs, and 5 inches all over my body, my legs, arms, neck, and chest but saw minimal change in my tummy...or so I thought but the numbers didn't lie!

I followed the program to a T EXCEPT for a weekly cheat meal and occasional cocktail. 
I don't fake the funk around here...I had a few cookie mishaps but no binges like I would in the past. For ME that is coming a LONG WAY! 

Having the same meal plan set up for InsanityMax:30 as the ‪21DayFix‬ is was what kept me focused on my nutrition. I believe in treats and cheats to keep me sane and let me still live a life without counting macros or goggling ingredients. The #21DayFix just made it all finally add up. I even incorporate the portion sizes as best I can during my cheats...so I don't go all balls out and put myself in a food coma..lol

I have never been more driven or this consistent to make it to the finish line...Insanity was the most difficult program to do and I did it at my heaviest weight at over 200lbs! To be able to finish InsanityMax:30 2 years later & stick to the schedule is a great feeling of accomplishment. 

I may have missed a workout or let the lazy bug get me but I always doubled down and made up for my poor judgement.

If I told you the workouts were easy I would be lying, they are hard, intense and do require you to put in some serious effort.  Like always a modifier is there and this particular program has a feature to keep the camera or video solely on the modifier.  So can a beginner do this? YES absolutely!
Just look at my little princess go!!

Pizza, Margaritas, and Carne Asada burritos I will forever love you but for the next 21 days you will be taking a back seat. All my meals will be made at home to the best of my ability, I will not give in during date nights and other events! I will kick ass and give it my all for the next 21days!

Summer is already making an appearance here in California and I am not covering up this year during the hottest days of the year! Will you?

Spots for my next challenge group have opened and if you are struggling, or just need a little support please do not be afraid to reach out to me.  Chances are I know what you are going through.  Two of my friends/challengers have begun to see some AMAZING results and are still kicking butt! 

Amanda and I met at our daughter's dance school and after our family had to move with my husband losing his job we stayed in touch.  She started doing PiYo and lalalaloved it! and her shakeology so much that she decided to stick around for some more and give Max:30 a try! So proud, so happy and so excited to share this other little passion of mine with fellow mom friends. 

Norma and I actually go back..like waaay back to elementary school.  We had not seen each other since high school when we were on the Dance team together.  Well here we are, over 10 years later and coming together for support once a ain.  She jumped on board with her P90X3  and is not only killing it but is a NEW COACH on my team! 

You are going to do amazing Norma! So much determination and passion to reach your goals both physically and mentally all while helping others...that is the essence of what coaching is all about! 
Growing as a human and paying it forward!